Diabetes Must Be MY Top Priority

There has not been a recent blog post lately – – and it comes to no surprise when you read about the month of April I recently experienced. After going through all of it I came to the important realization of how, even after so many years of living with diabetes, that I can still fall into old habits of knocking it down the totem pole of priorities.  Even before the first day of April arrived I was well aware it was going to be quite the month.  To start, I had three weddings to occupy most of my weekends.  All three weddings were comprised of family and close friends that included a lot of necessary (and definitely enjoyable) time with everyone.  On top of that, one of my free weekends consisted of needing to take the National Certification Counselor Examination that is one of the major stepping stones to becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC).  This test is a comprehensive examination covering eight major domains in the field of professional counseling.  So out of the five weekends in April, the only free one I had was the first weekend and the rest filled with weddings and preparation to take the exam.

Outside of that, there was a major change occurring at work. Prior to, I was a counselor at a halfway house program with a caseload of clients as their primary counselor and lead group facilitator in the majority of group counseling sessions.  In mid-April, we were switching over to one of the first new programs in the state changing from a halfway house facility to a full, residential inpatient treatment program in small house setting.  We were increasing the number of clients that would be receiving services.  Not only that, but we were changing our entire group counseling curriculum to an increased number of groups provided with brand new material.  Because of this, I had to learn six new group curriculums that totaled into the hundreds and hundreds of pages.  On top of that, we had to complete repainting, re-arranging of the group room, fixing staff meeting room, and switching primary offices entirely.  The goal for all of this was to be accomplished in two weeks.

As that process began to occur we were hit with an entire bomb shell at work. Imagine, in your current job, the top five worst things that could happen.  Imagine the worst of the worst.  Think of what you would tell people the worst things that could happen at your job.  Now, imagine that four of those five happened all at once.  That’s exactly what happened at my job.  Furthermore, working at a halfway house with male clients with addiction and criminal justice populations is already filled with potential crisis and risk – – so four out of five is quite horrific.  That happened to us all at once and in the middle of what was going to be the transitioning into this brand new program.

But we pulled together and got everything finished. The house looked great.  We were able to make all the changes and prepare for the program switch.  But, as soon as everything seemed to be fitting in to the new changes, something else would occur.  As the new program was set to begin and a high level of intakes would occur – – my boss and supervisor would be out that entire week on work related agendas.  This meant an incredible amount of work, responsibility, and setting up the new program on the right foot fell on the rest of us.

That sounds like a lot going on with weddings, studying for the exam, and dealing with everything going on at work. Along with all of that, I was still working my field placement for my Master’s Degree and attending class one night per week.  The class was only an hour and a half long, but after looking back at the hours I worked at the field placement it was an average of 20 hours per week.  Might as well throw in the two days a week I wake up at 4am to work at the gym for a few hours.  So put it all in perspective, I was working a full-time forty hour a week job, a twenty one and a half hour field placement and school combination routine, with a six hour part-time job at the gym, adding in studying for the counselor exam, and taking some of my work home with me to study curriculum in the meantime to prepare for groups.  Besides that… I am currently in the middle of training for my first ultra 50k trail marathon.

The final cherry on top…. April is the month when I was diagnosed with type one diabetes nineteen years ago; which means I was celebrating my “diaversary”. To find out more about that you can read the previous blog.  But, that’s always an emotional time putting all of that in perspective and having to think about what life has been like living with this disease for nineteen years.

It may sound like a lot of complaining about what my April looked like (and maybe it is some venting). Looking back on it though I realized it taught me on important lesson.  Throughout all of this I really placed my diabetes lower and lower on the priority list.  There were days when I stopped and thought, “did I even take my blood sugar today?” or times when I ate my lunch in two minutes to quickly get back to work and thought, “did I take my insulin for what I just ate?”  There were days I didn’t eat between 6am and 9pm because of how busy I was.  I would come home and eat at 9pm and have a blood sugar shoot up in the 300s and wake me up in the middle of the night… multiple times throughout the night.  There were times I should have stopped to check my blood or bring my meter to the wedding tables… but being embarrassed of having a meter sit there or having to check it in secret pushed the dilemma into my head that the wedding was more important, and my diabetes could come second.  And just like that, it continued to slip on the list of priorities.

I was so preoccupied and busy that a few times I was exhausted and told myself I could wait an extra day to change my insertion site when I should have changed it the day before. Stress was high and self-care was quite low.  I pushed myself to exhaustion at times where checking my blood became an annoyance.  Having ups and downs created an inconsistent diabetes management plan that also affected my mood – which in turn impacted different parts of my life.  The impact affected me physically (with unbalanced blood sugars), emotionally, and mentally.  Nothing can impact your life as much as failing to treat a daily, chronic disease as a top priority.  The month of April taught me how some stress, a little chaos, some uncontrollable circumstances, and important events can challenge me to keep what is most important in my life; my health.

Without my health I am not good to anyone; especially myself. To all my family, loved ones, and friends…. To all the clients I work with… and even to those who I interact with throughout day to day life – putting my health at risk will spill into everything in my life.  It is my responsibility to hold that as a top priority, meaning no blame or excuse making.  No matter what I had to deal with throughout the month I could have continued to take care of my diabetes management better than I did.  There were a lot of things that affected me, but they were not about me.  But as I personalized some of the things in relation to diabetes I pushed it back and said it was less important.  It was less important than work.  It was less important than studying for my exam.  It was less important than the weddings and spending time with everyone.  That kind of thinking will ultimately place me in a position where I will make choices above my diabetes and in turn can have significant consequences.

Diabetes is part of what ultimately gives me balance in life. In a previous blog I talked about what diabetes has taught me over the years.  And as you can see those lessons keep on coming.  But all the previous ones have taught me that I need to use all of those to keep living a healthy and happy life.  In conclusion, here are a few tips at how to keep diabetes management your top priority:

1. Reminders: Keep reminders in any way you can. Set alarms or write them down on pieces of paper. Write them down on a rubber band and wear it around your wrist. Put down what’s important – testing blood or inject insulin. Whatever it is make sure it can catch your attention when necessary.
2. Keep it in the open: I started putting my meter on my desk at work to remind myself of taking my blood sugar. I kept my blood sugar meter next to my bed at night in case I started to feel my blood sugar getting high. Keeping it out in the open is a great visual reminder to stay on track.
3. Question: Ask yourself, “Will this affect my diabetes? If so, how? What would my diabetes want me to do in this situation?” For example, prior to the weddings I was contemplating whether or not to bring my meter I could have asked, “What would my diabetes want me to do with my blood meter?” If I answered it honestly it would have said it wanted it to be there with me to test my blood just in case and that I could deal with the embarrassment.
4. Ask for help: I should have asked for help. I was with a lot of family, loved ones, and close peers. Help could have been a simple reminder to check my blood or just let them know I would be bringing my meter with to feel a little more comfortable. I should have asked my boss a few times if I could take a minute or two to check my blood or change my insertion site before moving on to the next time. Any time I have asked for help or assistant I have always received it in some way or another.
5. Time: Realize that when it comes to time, diabetes management has time on its side. It takes seconds or minutes to go through the process. It normally doesn’t take hours or days to go through the process of checking blood sugars, injecting insulin, counting carbs, etc. But when I start to slip when it comes to priorities I tell myself I don’t have time for that. I need to do something else right away. Recognize that it only takes a few minutes, and focus on those few minutes to take care of your medical needs.
6. Short-Term Discomfort versus Long-Term Misery: I’ve you have read my blogs before you have probably seen this message, but it’s important to say again. Learn to overcome the short-term discomfort to prevent long-term misery. Diabetes management is not fun. Finger pokes and insulin injections are painful and uncomfortable. They can also be annoying, frustration, and overall quite bothersome. But, the impact of not doing so can be even worse. Blood sugars running in the couple hundreds can be miserable. Running to the bathroom over and over again throughout an event because of failing to check your blood can become even more frustrating and irritating than having to spend ten seconds checking your blood sugar to begin with.