How Diabetes and Addiction Counseling Crossed Paths

To say that living with type one diabetes is like having a full-time job would be a complete understatement. Having a disease that requires daily blood sugar monitoring and insulin maintenance is basically having a job that never stops and can have an influence on every part of your life.  But, having type one diabetes is no way an excuse to not work, which brings me to what I do as a profession.  I am a licensed Substance Abuse Counselor (SAC) for the state of Wisconsin.  For well over a decade I have worked as a counselor with clients who are diagnosed with substance use disorders as well as being involved in the criminal justice system.  Basically, I work with addicts who got into legal trouble.  The first eight years was dedicating to working at a group home for inner city adolescents and the last two have been working with male offenders in a halfway house setting.

The first question you often get asked when working with addiction is, “Are you an addict?” Back when I started over ten years ago it was almost an unwritten rule about needing to be an addict in order to help others.  For me, it wasn’t an addiction that bridged the gap between becoming a counselor.  I struggled in high school when it came to grades.  Especially in my sophomore and junior years which are pivotal in the next steps towards a higher education.  At the time I reached success with my own counselor I was seeing to help deal with a number of significant issues in my life (and diabetes being the main focus).  I started enjoying attending sessions and having a high respect for what he did for me on a human connection.  So the idea of becoming a counselor was a growing interest.  But, with my poor academic performance it was clear my options were not going to be as highly available as one would hope.  I researched local colleges praying that a program in counseling would be a possibility.  During the research I came across an AODA (Alcohol and Other Drug Abuse) Counseling program available at Waukesha County Technical College.

I knew nothing about addiction. There was no addiction in my family history, no friends of mine were drug users, and it was something entirely unknown to me.  In conducting some brief, initial research on the program and issue there was a trend starting in the field: a viewpoint that addiction was being seen as a disease very similar to that of heart disease and diabetes.  Honestly, there was some initial resentment and frustration over the idea of addiction being compared to diabetes.  I take insulin in order to avoid getting high (blood sugars) while addicts use drugs in order to get high (feel pleasure, avoid pain, etc.).  A part of me wanted to see what I would find if I decided to explore this area further and see if I could relate to what addicts feel like when trying to stay sober or embark on their own journey in recovery.  Besides, it took me many times, attempts, and failures to reach success with my own disease.  Maybe, if I were able to see the connection and relate to those living with a disease that they must deal with daily I would be able to bring insights from a different perspective because of what it is like living with type one diabetes.

For the beginning part of the process I focused on a commitment to learning about as much as I could about addiction. The program at WCTC provided an educational foundation for understanding addiction, specific drugs, abuse, dependency, synapses, treatment, and other various aspects.  But my experience with addiction and the disease itself wouldn’t start until I began working with clients.  The face-to-face sessions with clients (in individual and group sessions) was the gap in understanding how addiction was viewed as a disease that was treated through recovery… and recovery being something an individual needed every single day in order to avoid relapsing and returning to their drug use.  I met plenty of clients over the years who wanted to stay sober and struggled at maintaining long-term recovery.

The very first relation I could make was believing “I can do it on my own”. Through my own struggle with type one diabetes I believed I could just deal with it on my own and did not need help or support.  I pushed away family, friends, nurses, doctors, and potential support that could have provided me with the strength and help needed to deal with my disease.  So when an addict sits in my chair and tells me they thought (or still think) they can do it on their own I can see where that struggle comes from.  I attempted to do it by myself for a number of years before I was able to openly accept that I couldn’t and needed help from a variety of resources.

Another relation soon followed as part of the treatment focuses on paying attention to the thoughts going on inside their own minds and recognizing risk that could lead back to using. These terms quickly became known as “Criminal Thinking Errors” that had a negative influence on an individual’s thinking that would lead to destructive behaviors.  These thinking errors are known as minimizing, justifying, rationalizing, making excuses, blaming, all or nothing, disqualifying the positive, jumping to conclusions, emotional reasoning, labeling, and personalization.  Among these criminal thinking errors was the dangerous day-to-day thinking that occurred with their drug use.  “One drink or one more time using isn’t that bad” (minimizing). “It’s not a problem if people would just leave me alone” (blaming). “I need to do use because how else would I deal with my life” (justifying).  ”if I can’t do this I might as well use” (jumping to conclusions).

After recognizing these and learning about them it was easy for me to relate to what was going on inside their heads – – because I used the same ones myself. When it came to my life with type one diabetes I minimized, justified, rationalized, made excuses, blamed, used all or nothing thinking, disqualified the positives in my life, jumped to conclusions, and so on and so forth.  The only difference was that people did not look at me as a criminal because I did not commit any crimes or use drugs.  But, my own thinking was the same kind that all my clients were struggling to deal with.  Not only that, but I noticed how my behaviors were also similar.  I lied to people, manipulated, avoiding taking personal responsibility, and other behaviors that were harmful to myself and hurting others.  But, once again, the fact that I was living with a disease that people accepted as a health condition as opposed to my clients who were looked at as drug addicts and criminals was the biggest line drawn in the sand between us.

A lot of clients eventually ask how long will they have to deal with their addiction. Most of the time I ask how long do they imagine they will have a problem with alcohol and drugs.  The ones who say “I will always have a problem” (or addiction) understand they will have to deal with it for the rest of their lives.  And who better able to relate to that than someone who has to deal with type one diabetes as long as there is no cure.  They must work at staying sober every single day just like I have to work at maintaining my health every single day.  Throughout this personal and professional journey I have found myself relating and connecting more with addicts in their recovery because of my own journey in living with type one diabetes.

To conclude this post I’ll share a story only a handful of people know. When I was seventeen-years-old I was with a group of friends attending a Milwaukee Brewers baseball game.  At the time I was making significant progress in taking care of my health.  It was not perfect, but I was progressing at being more responsible.  On this occasion I decided to take my diabetes management kit (insulin, syringes, blood meter, etc.) with me.  This was not always the case in my past.  I went back to the car and tested my blood.  We were about to eat some fresh grilled hot dogs and I decided to measure the amount of insulin I needed.  As I was about to inject the insulin through a syringe an old couple walked past the car.  As they walked past the car the elderly man looked at me and said “f****** drug user” and walked away.  I immediately stopped what I was doing.  I was mad, frustrated, annoyed, and felt an incredible amount of shame.  I didn’t want to be associated with drug users – – because I was nothing like them.  I put all the supplies back in the kit and walked back to my friends.  I didn’t talk about what happened and ended up lying about taking my insulin.

This was not one of the proudest moments in my life as I made a poor decision that neglected my health while at the same time having a negative view of those who suffer from addiction. At that time I had no idea how far I would take my career as a counselor focusing on helping those with addiction to alcohol and drugs.  After a decade later and still doing the same kind of work I’m thankful and blessed at how diabetes and addiction counseling crossed paths – – because it has helped numerous lives along the way.